Almost 5 years I've been with him. Well it's going to be 5 years in a couple of months. But many won't consider it being 5 years since we've been on and off everyday for these 5 years. But for a few months we were off. That's when he left me for my best friend. A couple of months later .... we don't talk anymore. I've forgiven him, but I will never forget. Today he read on my tumblr that I thought that there's no point into the relationship. We're not going to be together in the long run. If you saw me experience what I've been through, you would think I'm a crazy person for forgiving him. It was really bad. But the point is, today I think we're trying to decide weather or not to stay together. I don't want to control him anymore and I don't want to be tied down to something that hurt me so much. I will always love him. I will always care about him. But we've grown up from the kids we were 5 years ago and it's time to decide. We're going off to university next year and I don't want to be hung over him before I leave. Why is that? I'm scared. I'm so scared of the feeling of regret, of being abandoned and left there when I trusted and loved someone so much, like I have in the past. I wish I could trust him, but after everything that he's done; there's no chance. This is my e-journal. The last time I wrote in this baby was about 2 years ago, wow. :)
What better way to start this than today? Call me cheesy but here:
Diary entry #1.
Can any girls relate? If so feel free to keep reading. It's like the whole world collapsed today. When your boyfriend no,best friend admits that he's not in love with you anymore. I knew it was coming cause i feel the same way. But how do you forget about everything you've been. Geez, if it hadn't been an on and off relationship for two years i wouldn't be okay. I kind of expect tomorrow's going to be fine just because in my mind i'll be thinking that we're still together. But there's nothing to hold on to. Home film romance come true?
annabananahead;
